This is Lancelot Pines, singer and guitarist for the wildly unpopular local band Savage Tongue. His best friend and musical partner is Stefano.

Here's Stefano Ishikawa. He plays drums in Savage Tongue along with his friend and roomate Pines. He has a strange and inventive mind.

And here's their earnest but minimally competent manager Luke Skywalker. Incredibly, this seems to be his real name, although it's hard to get a straight answer from him about anything in his past.

Suzy Fawaz! Is this person! An aristocratic German of Persian descent, she seems to spend much of her time dealing with her combative husband Leon. She maintains a sunny disposition nonetheless.

To your left you will see Suzy's husband Leon. Do not approach close to the Leon. The Leon knows no fear. He is French, and in denial about the fact that he is French. Leon doesn't like you.

Ringo is Pines and Stefano's uncomfortably biological pet octopus. Free-spirited and inquisitive, he's hard to keep in his aquarium, and likes to see the world from his vantage point perched on Pines's shoulder.

Where exactly does Heath fit in? He doesn't. He showed up, and now he won't leave. He seems to possess an endless supply of bass guitars, kicky waistcoats, and musical élan. He may also be a vampire.

This be-beardfaced gent over here is Boss Grunyons. A former college roommate of Pines, Boss changes his musical style like most people change their socks; whatever the next big thing is, he claims he always was. He is currently rocking kind of an Acoustic Sincerity idea.